Showing posts with label cricket. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cricket. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Dhoni demands Motera pitch to be laid in every ground of India

It seems defeating India in India is going to be distant dream for visiting teams now. Captain M S Dhoni believes he has ironed out final crease from his winning plans! He revealed his plans in a press conference yesterday.

Blaming the curator of Wankhede Stadium for 'not understanding his instructions' Dhoni said, "My instructions were to make a pitch that offers turn from first day but was like Motera in all the other aspects. Wankhede pitch was not only turning but also had some pace and bounce which helped English spinners."

In response to questions that now that English batsmen have successfully negated Indian spinners what is his plan for next two tests, Dhoni said, "We have decided to not put our trust in the curators of other venues and  will carry Motera pitch to wherever we play."


When asked how can this be possible, how can a pitch be translocated Dhoni said if trees and houses can be moved then why not a pitch. He asked BCCI to train curators to make pitches like Motera as well translocate them when needed. He said BCCI should negotiate with other boards to allow them to play on the Motera pitch when India tours abroad.

When asked about defeat in what has been named as 'revenge series', Dhoni said, "Let them (English team) come to Motera, we will give them a taste of their own medicine." Gautam Gambheer and Virendar Sehwag seconded this opinion of the captain.

Dhoni stressed on the point that Cricket is not just a game where you need to bat, bowl and field better than your opponent, you also need to make wickets which suit you better than opponent. He said sole reason for Wankhede defeat is that "we missed in the last department".

When scribes pressed on the point that both bowling and batting failed, visibly irritated Dhoni said,"Itna tension lene ki zaroorat nahin hai. Bade bade deshon mein chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rahti hain".

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Kyun Har Bhajan Zaroori Hota Hai!

So yesterday Harbhajan Singh (I will call him Harbhajan, not Bhajji because a) I can't imagine him as a fried snack and b) I don't feel the need to be so personal as to call him with his pet name.) made his appearance on Master Chef.

Totally commendable move, considering he has started early looking for alternative options rather than trying his hand doing 'Annarth' films and then in news channel shows like Vinod Kambli.

But whatever Cricinfo says I still think there is a lot left for Harbhajan to do. In the Indian cricket team that is.

1) He can be taken to Australia just to rile Aussies. Even though there is no Symonds there are still eleven men in Baggy Greens to be called names which sound like some Indian abuses. (Since I am no expert on abuses I suggest you consult some Ghaziabadi for some examples.)

2) Who said he can't bowl? He can. OK he can't spin the ball. But he can bowl a full over without being called for No Ball. That gives captain Dhoni a bowler who can be used to change the bowling ends of his usual wicket-taking bowlers! Doesn't that give a totally new meaning to word 'utility player'?

3) He has got a century right? Play him as a batsman. We did that in England, didn't we? So what's wrong with Australia? Why should we snatch this divine pleasure from our beaten-black-and-blue-for-being-black-and-wearing-blue Indian brethren (and sisteren?) living in Oz land?


4) Play him as captain. Didn't he lead Mumbai Indians to win in Champions League? May be that will improve his bowling too. See what it did to Darren Sammy. In Delhi test he was leading wicket taker in both innings. And didn't Mike Brearly play for England just because he was captain?

5) Remember that saying: Spare the rod and spoil the child. Harbhajan can be kept in team to ensure that these new guys like Ashwin or Ojha and older guys like Srisanth are kept firmly in check. Afterall Harbhajan can land a hand on other people's cheeks. Ask Sri.

These are just five but I am sure you know a few more reasons for Harbhajan to appear on cricket field. I just hope he himself knows a few!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Crickwitty! Witty tweets on cricket.

Ever since Pitch-Invasion.in started #crickwit contest I have put my witty cap on and the result has not been too bad (atleast I think so!) since I was declared crickwitter of the day on two days. Here are some of the tweets hashtagged with #crickwit.

Tell me if you like them!

Punjab team openers consume too much power. One is an AC (Gilchrist) and other is a PC (valthaty)!
30 Apr (KKR vs KXIP)

Now I understand why Queen didn't invite anybody from Punjab team to #RoyalWedding. Afterall they are "King's Eleven"!
30 Apr (KKR vs KXIP)

Did Abhimanyu Mithun learn Disco steps when he was in the womb.
29 Apr (PW vs RCB)

How did Yuvi convince Subrat Roy to take Ryder? He said 'O ji, Jesse jaisi koi nahin'
29 Apr (PW vs RCB)

Now bookies can do spot fixing on things like 'will Deepika kiss Malya today or not' or 'how long the hug will be'!
29 Apr (PW vs RCB)

How much ever slow he may be playing, Pollard is the 'Asha ki Kieron' for Mumbai!
29 Apr (MI vs RR)

Anjali Tendulkar to Warne: pLiz don't hurl(y) any advice towards my husband!
29 Apr (MI vs RR)

If Mumbai lose today will everyone make fun of them saying 'Shane, Shane'
29 Apr (MI vs RR)

The fairplay award should go to Mumbai only. Afterall there is so much 'Sach' in Tendulkar!
29 Apr (MI vs RR)

At a time when Rajasthan Royals should have been trending, British Royals are! #RoyalWedding
29 Apr (MI vs RR)

Both KKR and DD do Brrrr, while their game makes their fans do grrr.
28 Apr (KKR vs DD)

KKR took Morgan hoping for More Gain but he is doing Merely Gone!
28 Apr (KKR vs DD)

Morne Morkel's form has been enough to get him called Mourn(e) Morkel!
28 Apr (KKR vs DD)

What is similarity between Manoj Tiwari,cricketer and Manoj Tiwari the Bhojpuri Singer? Kya yaar, same name hai aur kya!
28 Apr (KKR vs DD)

God forbid if India doesn't do well under new coach, he will be called 'Deccan' Fletcher!
27 Apr (KTK vs DC)

PW has taken players to match their horseman logo: A (Horse)Ryder,Prince (Yuvraaj) and even Robin(hood)!
27 Apr (PW vs CSK)

Pune Warriors have horse in their logo, but the team has become a one horse cart (or a one warrior army!)
27 Apr (PW vs CSK)

Chennai gets so much sun that they should be completely immune to harmful effects of 'Yuvi' rays!
27 Apr (PW vs CSK)

Since CSK has no maidens to support them like RR/RCB/KTK their bowlers have to bowl maidens to keep morale hight!
27 Apr (PW vs CSK)

New #IndiaCoach is quite old. I hope players don't call him Duncan Stretcher! #Fletcher
27 Apr

So should the players organize a party for the new coach since he is Duncan 'Fresher' #Fletcher #IndiaCoach
27 Apr

Sunday, March 28, 2010

More money-making ideas for IPL

"There is too much cricket in IPL!" The Fuhrer (Lalit Modi) said

"Citi moment of success for IPL!" shouted L Sivaram Krishnan. Fuhrer smiled at him. This chap is so devoted.

"No Siva. This is not success. If conducting cricket was our motive there is already so much international cricket. We need to generate more revenues."

"Oh you mean we need to have a DLF maximum of advertising." Shastri quipped. I can shout louder and speak more words than Siva.

Fuhrer gave a sharp glance to Shastri. Someone was right, when these people are good for nothing, they become commentators.

He looked at his trusted marketing team and they didn't disappoint him.

"Fuherer, I suggested this earlier. We should show ads after every ball rather than after 2-3 balls in the mid of over."

"Hmmm. You are right and in-commentary advertising too needs to be toned up. We are still sticking with Citi and DLF and this new Karbonn."

"We can rename a dot ball as DLF minimum." An intern said sheepishly. Everyone was taken aback by her quick thinking. Fuhrer smiled and nodded. "Excellent idea!"

Others in marketing team eyed the intern with envy, commentators eyed her with appreciation.

"Every ball can be called as a FedEx Sure delivery."

"Every good shot can be called as Cannon Powershot."

"Every four can be called as a Four Square four."

"Every stumping can be called a Samsung Sexy Stumping." To this someone said no no we can't allow a word like that on live TV. Someone or their dog is bound to get their sentiments hurt.

"Ok ok, we can call it Samsung Super Stumping."

"Every wide can be called as LG Extra Wide."

Sunil Gavaskar practiced in his mind.

"Kumble has got a nice start to his last over. His first two FedEx Sure deliveries have fetched DLF Minimums. This was a Canon Powershot from Voges and is it a DLF maximum, no its a Four Square Four. And that would be an LG Extra Wide on the leg side. A Googly and that's a Samsung Super Stumping by Boucher. Citi Moment of Success for Kumble."

"Every double can be called as Do-CoMo."

Fuhrer had to intervene now, "Fine fine. Commentary vocabulary is enough now. Think of something else."


After a moment of silence someone said "Field umpires can refer almost every decision to 3rd umpire who can take about a minute while we focus on the board and show ads apart from those of Kingfisher. Commentators can keep on saying that this looks close and 3rd umpire is taking a close look. Nobody will suspect anything!"

Fuhrer thought a bit and gave a nod. The man who gave idea sulked that Fuherer didn't praise him like he did the intern.

Someone else said "Generally every ground has 2 pitches. We can name the pitches like they name the ends. So for pitch 1 commentators can say we are playing on Airtel Pitch and pitch 2 can be called as Aircell Pitch or whatever."

The room echoed with praises for the idea-giver.

Fuhrer wasn't looking too happy and he gave vent to his final thought, "All good ideas, but there is still too much cricket in IPL!"

Sivaramkrishnan could not stop himself, "Now, that's a Karbonn Kamal Catch!"

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Tata Sky piggy backs on IPL

As soon as the IPL is about to begin, the GECs (General Entertainment Channels like Colors, Zee, Star Plus, Imagine, Sony) begin to worry about their loyal viewers (read Saas-Bahu watching junta) will be denied their staple diet of soaps due to younger lot hell bent on watching the T20 matches.

Read the full post on my new blog 'Ad and Subtract'.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Eye Pee Elle Bandwagon!

(Well the reason of that 'Oh-so-clever' title is that I wanted to write something before procrastination gripped me again!)

IPL vs IPL

Indian Premier League vs Indian Political League that is! This is a season of plenty for news channels with both elections and IPL demanding their fare share of airtime. Star News has tried to achieve a not-so-subtle balance by doing a show which they have named - not so
 imaginatively - 'Deepak vs Siddharth'. So Deepak Chaurasia uses a cricket lingo to get you the political news of the day while Siddharth uses , obviously  cricket lingo to give the report of IPL matches! Pretty interesting format I would say.

Run of the underdog

I have put an Adidas poster on my desk featuring Michael Ballack and it reads "If your team
 wins, wear your Team shirt. If your team loses, wear your Team shirt." I haven't switched loyalty after poor performance of Deccan Chargers last year. So this time it was almost heart breaking to see our team neglected, almost outcast, ruled out without even being given a chance, before their first match with Knight Riders. Most of the news channels had not cared to update the Chargers logo in their programming, most of the ads had DC at the fringes and there are hardly any sponsors for this team! 

I was pissed off most by NDTV, which had become a mouthpiece of Knight Riders and before our first match their entire coverage was revolving around KR and SRK with hardly even a mention of DC. Now with KR in deep mess, NDTV must have learnt that it is not good to keep all your eggs in one basket!

Cheer-less leaders

The cheerleaders selected by Knight Riders in NDTV Imagine show 'Knights and Angels' could not perform in South Africa because authorities there forced organizers to use local talent. But the girls were atleast given a free ride to SA by SRK and they got to watch few KR matches too. Ofcourse KR performance would not have brought any cheer to anyone!



Silly moment of Shylockness

I am a very understanding person. Really. I know having a commerical, er strategic break after 10 overs makes a case of 'attempt to murder' the game but they had to do something to recover the increased costs this year. But a break after 6 overs? Definitely it would have put even Shylock to shame!

And I bet the total number of times commentators have spotted 'Citi moment of Success' during a game must be more than the total moments of success put together by entire Citi group during last year and half. Unlike that dreaded 'DLF Maximum' I have still not been able to understand why and how a moment gets its name linked to the Citigroup. BTW, does DLF really think, renaming a sixer will fool people in buying more of their flats?

Adding the ads

IPL has found special liking from infrastructure sector it seems! If the IPL's title sponsor is DLF, last year's both finalists have cement companies as their title sponsors. Chennai Superkings is obviously owned by India Cements, Rajasthan Royals has got UltraTech Cement as theirs!

Shilpa Shetty's team has HDFC Standard Life, Puma and TCS (!!!) apart from 5 others. They don't mention Real (the new Miditech owned GEC) surprisingly.  
MSD is doing most commercials these days, so it comes as no surprise that his team CSK has maximum number of sponsors: 15 and that includes 'Official Face-Care partner Nivea'.

KKR has 11 sponsors including brands like Nokia, Sprite, TAG Heuer, Star Plus and Reebok.
King's XI Punjab have heavy weight Emirates as Title Sponsor along with nine more, including Gulf Oil. 
Delhi Daredevils have a very impressive sponsor list which includes GMR, Hero Honda, Coca Cola, Kingfisher Airlines and Adidas among others. They have got a rich media presence too with Fever 104 FM and some Network 18 channels and sites. 
Mumbai Indians has 12 with RIL, MasterCard, Idea, Pepsi and Adidas being the noteworthy names. 
Deccan Chargers being the poor church mouse have to be content with Puma, Pepsi, Kingfisher, McDowell's, Big 92.7 FM and Odyssey (chain of book stores). 
I found no mention of sponsors on RCB site. Maybe it is below Vijay Mallya's dignity to accept that others are sponsoring his team ;)

The least score

What is the minimum amount you have used a credit card for? I bet you can't beat my score. 12. Yes. 10+2=12. No zeroes missing. Just good old 12!
I purchased the DC anthem on their site and it cost me Rs. 12 which had to be paid by card. And to be honest, it is not even worth that money!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Congratulations India!

OK, I never generally write about Cricket but this moment I really wish I was not writing this but watching the live telecast of the presentation ceremony. Reading live commentary on CricInfo.com makes it look even more enticing. Actually I could hear all the shouts and claps coming from cafeteria, when I was in a meeting with my manager and wished I could run away. But then, if wishes were horses!

With Australia's defeat it proved to be last ODI of the great Adam Gilchrist and believe me he was the only one guy in current Aussie team I loved. One of the greatest wicketkeepers of all times, he definitely would have wanted to retire on a more pleasant note. But then watching Sachin Tendulkar bat like Sachin Tendulkar from close quarters could have been rewarding experience in itself!

I am happy that this tour ended finally after all the controversies which have hogged more limelight than the game itself at times. Harbhajan calling Symonds names ("Monkey" or "Teri Maan Ki", whatever you want to believe. Guess what CNN-IBN had made a joke about Harbhajan using the latter first on "The Week That Wasn't"), Symonds accusing him of racism, BCCI flexing muscles and cornering Cricket Australia and ICC to aquit him of all charges then Haydon again calling him an "obnoxious weed" and inviting Ishant in the boxing ring. Not to forget the great Bucknor-Benson umpiring issue which cost us a match and cost them a few more! Both Indian and Australian media fought pitched battles about their respective (not respected in the other's country!) Hmmpphh that was quite tiring!

And now Indian media would cry itself hoarse praising the team and telling us how experience and youth have done wonders for this team.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Right and Wrong!

End of an illustrious career

I hardly ever write about anything related to cricket. Even if it is something as 'big' as Sydneygate. Due to essentially two reasons. Firstly there is hardly anything left to write after reams/TBs have been written/spoken on every conceivable aspect of the issue, and secondly there is a fatigue that grips me due to overcoverage of Cricket!

But I am making this exception to salute one of my most favorite and respected cricketers who said farewell from the game last week, and ironically while all of us were busy lambasting bad behavior on the ground the retirement of one of the most gentlemen cricketers hardly made any news, atleast in India.

I believe you will echo my feelings for Shaun Pollock, who showed us that you can be aggressive and competent without engaging in verbal slur. His records speak for themselves but, it was his onfield persona that made me his fan.

Good bye Sir. The game certainly owes a lot to you!

Correct Me!

A few months ago The Times Of India had a discussion on their edit page on the topic: Is it ok to allow SMS language in exams? The main argument supporting the issue (that yes it should be allowed) was that it is more important for examinees is to write correct answer. What use it is if someone writes a wrong answer in correct English? Fair enough! Only if I could find this supporter I would make him/her read all the crap that we Indians have started pasting all over the internet.

Don't get me wrong. (if you are getting me wrong in first place, that is!) I don't mean to be preachy but reading really terrible language even on technical forums is not a very enriching experience. (Read the comments on Rediff.com if you want to see really ugly face of Indians.) Instead of question you have to interpret the SMS words that poster has used. (Vaibhav and I have tried to be strict about language of questions posted on our C/C++/Java community on Orkut, and have had some success.)

And I am not even talking of grammatical and spelling errors here. Don't they have good old language writing classes in schools anymore? Or the students submit their answers through SMS only?

I think Firefox should start using something more than red dotted underlines to show people that perhaps the word they wrote does not exist in English!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Since cricket is of 'national importance'

Now that the euphoria of victory in T-20 World cup has subsided after losing the One day series against Australia, I think this is the time to raise some questions.

If our courts believe that Cricket is such a matter of national importance which made them curb the freedom of private enterprise causing it major losses, then why is cricket allowed to be run like fiefdom?

I am talking about making Neo Sports share their feed with Doordarshan. For those who don't know, honorable Supreme Court had ruled that since Cricket is a matter of national importance, every citizen has a right to watch it. Hence poor Nimbus had to share its feed with DD with a 50% revenue sharing on Doordarshan's advertisements. (So DD gets a cool 50% without doing anything!)

To be honest, I am a supporter of Nimbus. These guys have years of sports coverage and they used to produce some really great programs for DD and other channels. The sudden influx of ads in their recent cricket telecasts seem to be the result of what I said earlier: revenue loss due to feed sharing. (For those who don't know, Nimbus bought 5 year telecast rights from BCCI, of all cricket matches played in India at astronomical prices. And industry watchers have predicted doom of Nimbus since then!)

Now what I wanted to ask is that if Cricket is so important to this country then why is allowed to be managed by non-professionals, called BCCI? What is most shocking is that unlike other sports federations, currently BCCI is not answerable to anyone officially. This is what Times of India reveals about BCCI:

The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) -- a private society registered as an association under the Tamil Nadu Society Registration Act, 1860 -- was formed in 1929. It is affiliated to a limited company registered in the British Virgin Islands called the International Cricket Council (ICC). As a private society, the BCCI is not compelled to reveal to the general public its handling of cricket, sponsorship, telecast rights details, income and expenditure statements. The BCCI is accountable only to the Registrar of Companies.

Why is a game of such 'national importance' allowed to run by such a body?

And it is no secret that since BCCI gets fat on telecast rights, the gate money (ticket price you pay when you watch a match in a stadium) doesn't mean much to it and hence India has perhaps worst cricket stadia as compared to other countries. Why are citizen's rights being ignored here?

Media and (publicity hungry) politicians have already sought out ways to gain from our love of Cricket. I just hope judiciary keeps its head in place!

Monday, March 26, 2007

An advice to M.J. Akbar (and similar self-appointed-cricket-experts)

Anupam is understandably sore after the defeat (so am I!) and so seems M.J. Akbar (He is a senior journo and editor of Asian Age). But Anupam is a true blue cricket fan who loves, respects and understands the game and its nuances, unlike Mr. Akbar who seems to be just one of those self appointed cricket experts who first praise the cricketers indiscriminately and then call for their heads, when they lose.

In his recent article in Asian Age/Deccan Chronicle (Bylines, 25th March "Money and Murder: The Making of a Bloodsport") he calls the minnows of the worldcup as 'Joke' teams, repeatedly. He calls Bermuda players as Jokers and Dwayne Leverock as "a sumo wrestler who defied the laws of gravity just once to take a magnificent catch against India". It doesn't matter to him that he should get his facts right as he believes Leverock is the captain (Irvine Romaine is the captain!).

What exactly he means when he calls new teams as 'Joke'? Even Sri Lanka was also considered to be a joke team till only 4-5 years before they won the world cup in 1996. And who does Mr. Akbar think he is to make fun of the efforts of these cricketers? On one hand we complain that cricket is not played in enough countries and when new countries try to make their mark, cynics like him ridicule them. More than anything else, it is the love of the game that makes these 'cricketers' practice on weekends when they are not working for their livelihood. But what will Mr. Akbar understand? I doubt he has ever played cricket, forget loving the game.

He is quick to blame whole of the world: players, BCCI & ICC, politicians ("not least being the politicians, from Bengal to Jharkhand to Maharashtra to Kerala, who have muscled into cricket space in the hope that it will get them votes"), corporates and even poor commentators, but what about the bunch of 'jokers' Mr. Akbar is heading? He is the president of Editor's Guild of India. Hope you get my drift. Who is flaring this fire of cricket hysteria? Who is annointing the debutant cricketers as youth icons after their first match winning wicket haul or century? I remember well that it was a TOI article which called Dhoni 'rockstar' after his first century. Clap them when they are doing well, slap them when they are not, you will always get audiences.

And in a cricket-crazy nation, it has some other benefits as well. So when CNN-IBN asks you to sms a CHEER to 2622, this campaign is sponsored by LG and there is a revenue sharing with the service providers or when HT's world cup special is sponsored by Nokia and Tata Sky, some one out there is smiling more than due to journalistic pleasure.

Mr. Akbar is a senior journalist so I can understand that he is suffering from what Vir Sanghvi calls 'Editoritis' ("Its symptoms includes an inability to say “I don’t know” to any question") but for some things, he can better keep his mouth shut.

More: Read Seema Goswami's column in HindustanTimes.com here