More money-making ideas for IPL

"There is too much cricket in IPL!" The Fuhrer (Lalit Modi) said

"Citi moment of success for IPL!" shouted L Sivaram Krishnan. Fuhrer smiled at him. This chap is so devoted.

"No Siva. This is not success. If conducting cricket was our motive there is already so much international cricket. We need to generate more revenues."

"Oh you mean we need to have a DLF maximum of advertising." Shastri quipped. I can shout louder and speak more words than Siva.

Fuhrer gave a sharp glance to Shastri. Someone was right, when these people are good for nothing, they become commentators.

He looked at his trusted marketing team and they didn't disappoint him.

"Fuherer, I suggested this earlier. We should show ads after every ball rather than after 2-3 balls in the mid of over."

"Hmmm. You are right and in-commentary advertising too needs to be toned up. We are still sticking with Citi and DLF and this new Karbonn."

"We can rename a dot ball as DLF minimum." An intern said sheepishly. Everyone was taken aback by her quick thinking. Fuhrer smiled and nodded. "Excellent idea!"

Others in marketing team eyed the intern with envy, commentators eyed her with appreciation.

"Every ball can be called as a FedEx Sure delivery."

"Every good shot can be called as Cannon Powershot."

"Every four can be called as a Four Square four."

"Every stumping can be called a Samsung Sexy Stumping." To this someone said no no we can't allow a word like that on live TV. Someone or their dog is bound to get their sentiments hurt.

"Ok ok, we can call it Samsung Super Stumping."

"Every wide can be called as LG Extra Wide."

Sunil Gavaskar practiced in his mind.

"Kumble has got a nice start to his last over. His first two FedEx Sure deliveries have fetched DLF Minimums. This was a Canon Powershot from Voges and is it a DLF maximum, no its a Four Square Four. And that would be an LG Extra Wide on the leg side. A Googly and that's a Samsung Super Stumping by Boucher. Citi Moment of Success for Kumble."

"Every double can be called as Do-CoMo."

Fuhrer had to intervene now, "Fine fine. Commentary vocabulary is enough now. Think of something else."


After a moment of silence someone said "Field umpires can refer almost every decision to 3rd umpire who can take about a minute while we focus on the board and show ads apart from those of Kingfisher. Commentators can keep on saying that this looks close and 3rd umpire is taking a close look. Nobody will suspect anything!"

Fuhrer thought a bit and gave a nod. The man who gave idea sulked that Fuherer didn't praise him like he did the intern.

Someone else said "Generally every ground has 2 pitches. We can name the pitches like they name the ends. So for pitch 1 commentators can say we are playing on Airtel Pitch and pitch 2 can be called as Aircell Pitch or whatever."

The room echoed with praises for the idea-giver.

Fuhrer wasn't looking too happy and he gave vent to his final thought, "All good ideas, but there is still too much cricket in IPL!"

Sivaramkrishnan could not stop himself, "Now, that's a Karbonn Kamal Catch!"

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A question for Gujrat

I don't know if this is the right time to ask this question, now that voting has finished in Gujrat. This question is to open to not only Gujratis but all those people who believe that Narendra Modi is the right choice for leading Gujrat once again.

The most common arguments in favor of Modi are:

1) He is an able administrator who has made Gujrat one of the most developed states of the country and brought unparalleled investment in the state.

2) Barring the attack on temple, there have hardly been any terrorist acts in the state during his stint.

The reason that Modi supporters mostly give for no terrorist attacks is actually a sham and I believe that it has been coined just to suppport Modi's anti-Muslim stance and in a way glorify it. They say that Islamic terrorists don't strike Gujrat because they are afraid of retaliation against Gujrati Muslims.

Why do I call it a sham? Because that's precisely what terrorists want to do! Any state supported (with Modi at the helm of affairs you can be sure of that!) retaliation against minorities ultimately creates more supporters and more breeding grounds for terrorism. So, it is actually an open invitation for terrorists to attack the state. But if this does not happen, I think better thank Gujrat Police and Intelligence rather than Modi!

Now, my question. I won't go in details about how able administrator Modi is and how much development he has brought in Gujrat (however many people actually raise those questions, which Modi supporters tend to brush away with disdain).

Is all that development and those investment dollars worth the communal harmony that Modi's reign of divisive politics has taken the toll of? Everyone can sense the communal divisions that he has created in the state but there is more.

Not much has been reported in the media about his speeches where he address the central Government as 'Delhi Sultanate' and declares Gujrat's economic independence. He challenges the 'Delhi Sultanate' not to take a paisa from Gujrat and Gujrat won't need any thing from 'them'. So now this 'us' vs 'them' is not only with reference to 'hindus' and 'muslims' but also between state and country. Whenever any one raises any questions about Modi's acts or the 'development' either he is declared as a traitor (if he is a Gujrati) or one of 'them';an outsider who is envious of Gujrat's achievements.

Simply put Modi is doing precisely what George W Bush has done: create fictitious enemies and assure people of safety to prove yourself their best bet.

I repeat my question once again: Is communal harmony the price that Gujrat has to pay for its development? And do Gujratis really understand how immense this price is?

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