The Dudhsagar Rail-track Trek: In the green paradise

I had been trying to join this GHAC trek from past many weeks but without any success. It is so popular that it got full even before I could check the meetup notification!!! But finally I got lucky and got seats reserved for Shweta and me.

We boarded Yashwantpur Express from Kachiguda and by the time we woke up, we were in Amaravathi Express. Yes the coach had changed trains, just as wealth changed hands between Kalmadi's stooges!

We were about an hour late when we alighted at Castle Rock. But nobody complained as slight drizzle and misty greens welcomed us. Castle Rock was the last station where there was some population. And for next 24 hours we were not going to get anything edible, and that's why we had our bags loaded with ready to eat stuff like MTR Rice, bread-butter, Thepla, chips, cakes etc. to last for next few meals.

Walking on railway tracks was fun for maybe about half an hour. After that it was trying to find the easy and fast way to walk. Walking on the ballast (the small stones between tracks) was difficult, but walking on the wooden or concrete planks between the tracks was more difficult not only because the soles start aching after some time but also because when you flush in the train you are not thinking about people 'trekking' on the tracks!

But when you have breathtaking surroundings all around you, an unending water supply in form of waterfalls (perfectly potable, just check for small insects) and birds which whistle just like humans you won't complain. To add to the adventure the route is dotted with tunnels which need you to carry dark enough to need torch light and leaky enough to need an umbrella.

We were approaching one such tunnel when we heard a train blow horn. After a few moments there was no sound and after a few moments once again there was a horn. I touched the track and put ear to it, but there was no sign of any train. but Shweta and Anand won't buzz. So I volunteered to go and check in the tunnel and as I proceeded I saw the proverbial lights of approaching train.

In the meantime we had crossed the border and reached Goa!

Karunzol was 7.29 km from Castle Rock and we had our brief lunch comprised of Theplas and MTR Rice. Once again the trek started and now the evening was approaching fast and rain came along. After another 7 km Dudhsagar station appeared but there was no sign of the falls or our camping site. After a very dreary another 1 km,loomed the first sight of Dudhsagar falls! Instant recharge was never so instantaneous! It was about six in the evening and the visibility was poor. We were wet, tired and hungry and were not in the perfect mindframe to enjoy the scenery.

We put up the camps in a small hut (rather a shed!) and after what seemed to be a very long and wet (specially for those who had put up the tent in the verandah of shed. The waterfall seemed to get more aggressive as the night progressed. I could hardly sleep in that cramped tent and got up by 5 as instructed by camp leader. But till 6 it was very dark.

Morning was greeted with much chaos and after a very adventurous wash in a side stream in the fall (we actually climbed up that stream in the fall) we started packing up. Folding up the tents could be accomplished only after reading the instructions amidst war cries that would confuse someone that a wild animal was being tamed!

Shooting near a massive fall like Dudhsagar is always difficult because of strong drizzle created by water falling on rocks. I had first experienced that in Chikmagalore when I visited Abby falls. Those with point and shoot cameras can still manage but with a non-water proof SLR camera you have to be really quick and careful. But I managed take a few quick snaps.

The journey continued to Coolem which was supposed to be 7 km from Dudhsagar. But there proved to be a minor hitch. Coolem was another 8 km from Sonalium, about 4 km from Dudhsagar. So we boarded a train to Coolem, a beautiful town in Goa which had more shops selling liquor than anything else! After a brief but much appreciated hot lunch we took a bus to Londa junction from where we would catch train to Hyderabad.

A special word about the gang. It was as Barney Stinson would say, "Totally awesome".

Travel Summary: To reach Dudhsagar from Hyderabad, take 7603 Kacheguda-Yeshwantpur Express. Get down at Castle Rock station and trek to Dudhsagar. There are no hotels/restaurants in the region so make arrangements for your food/stay (preferably tents). To return you can either trek back to Castle Rock or goto Coolem about 12 km from Dudhsagar. You can also trek 4km to Sonalium and take a train to Coolem. From Coolem you can take bus to Londa and catch 7416 Haripriya Express back to Hyderabad.

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If ‘Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron’ was made today

(Originally written for and published on PassionForCinema.com on August 5, 2010)

Dharmveer Bharti’s epic novel ‘Gunaahon Ka Devta’ had more than the obvious (psychological!) effects on me: I decided to make a movie titled ‘Seema’ (name of the female protagonist). So I designed a poster for it and played casting director and my friend Vikas did the same and then we compared notes. I don’t remember my list but I remember that my cast had better actors than his and I never let him forget it.

Ravi Baswani’s untimely demise put a lot of focus back on ‘Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron’. This movie was released one year after I was born and I remember literally (yes, literally) Rolling On The Floor Laughing (ROTFL in SMS lingo!) when I watched it on TV in mid-90s. Watching the CNN-IBN special on the movie left me a bit nostalgic and geared up to take this as a new project for playing casting director. Once again Vikas was roped in for the challenge and he was game.

We had to select an entirely new cast, with no actor from the original movie. The physical resemblance though not THE most important criterion, is still one of the points to be kept in mind. Also actors should be playing their age. So even though a young actor can be made up 40 year old, it will be great if he/she plays a character that suits his/her age and personality.

Keeping these points in mind here is the cast that we have proposed for “Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron” if it was made today.

Vinod Chopra: Nasseruddin Shah. Proposed: Irfan Khan (2nd choice: Kay Kay Menon)

Vikas suggested Irfan’s name and I agreed (much to his surprise!). But Irfan is a superb actor and his style of comedy is what I feel is just right for a satirical film like this. But my second choice is KK Menon and more I try to visualize him in different scenes, more I get convinced that he will be as good if not better than Irfan. Tough choice here!

Sudhir Mishra: Ravi Baswani. Proposed: Sharman Joshi

To express the quirkiness that Baswani did with his twitching eyes would be a difficult task for Sharman but both Vikas and I think he will be perfect side kick for Vinod Chopra. Physical resemblance apart Sharman’s comic timing is what I am banking on for this role.

Commissioner D’Mello: Satish Shah. Proposed: Boman Irani

Giving him a role that needs him to act as corpse half the time? I know it’s criminal wastage of talent but then thinking of the other half I can’t really imagine anyone else and that says a lot about Satish Shah’s portrayal of the role! Boman Irani is a great actor and he will truly rock in this role.

Shobha Sen: Bhakti Barve. Proposed: Konkona Sen Sharma

Konkona is a fabulous actor and I believe she will be able to portray the ruthless (and flirty when needed) editor perfectly. Physically too she matches Bhakti Barve to the T.

Ahuja: Om Puri. Proposed: Pawan Malhotra (2nd choice: Manoj Vajpayee/Rajesh Vivek)

This is what I believe is my casting coup! Vikas suggested Manoj Vajpayee and then Rajesh Vivek. But it is not as confusing as it seems due to three names doing the rounds here because I am convinced that Pawan is the perfect fit for this character. It’s a pleasure to watch him on screen and not only is sure to match Om Puri in acting skills but also will in appearance (of those times). Vikas doesn’t agree but I am adamant.

Tarneja: Pankaj Kapoor. Proposed: Manoj Pahwa (2nd choice: Manu Rishi)

Paresh Rawal seems to be obvious choice but I have reservations against his strong Gujarati/Marathi accent which kinda typecasts his style of acting. Manoj Pahwa is a veteran in such roles and this role seems to be tailor made for him. Second choice Manu Rishi was the pleasant surprise in “Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!” and though we haven’t seen much of him lately, I believe he will be able to pull off this very important role well.

Tarneja’s secretary Priya: Neena Gupta. Proposed: Neha Dhupia

There were various contenders for the role of this Indian version of dumb blonde secretary. Celina Jetly, Riya Sen, Rimi Sen and most of the new 1-film wonder actresses but I pick Neha Dhupia because she is a better actress among this brigade.

Tarneja’s PA Ashok: Satish Kaushik. Proposed: Vijay Maurya

Satish Kaushik played whining buffoon to a hilt but Vijay Maurya is already getting featured in people’s favorite actors lists! Even though physical resemblance is being somewhat ignored here, I think Maurya will easily pull this one off.

Asst. Municipal Commissioner Srivastav: Deepak Qazir. Proposed: Deepak Dobriyal

Deepak is one of the finest actors around and versatility could be his middle name. I have seen him in ‘Omkara’ and ‘Delhi 6′ and his ability to look his character makes him one of the most dependable actors around. I believe he will better the original performance by his senior namesake.

Assistant Editor Kamdar: Rajesh Puri. Proposed: Rajpal Yadav

Rajpal Yadav is a very competent actor but he is not doing his reputation any good by joining Priyadarshan’s Institute of Shout Acting (yes Priyan has taken loud acting to a whole new level!). But even though Vikas is not very keen on Yadav, I think he will be a good addition to team and his comic timing could be a great asset in the Mahabharat sequence.

This is the cast that I believe will do justice to one of my most favorite films of all times. You are free to disagree and recommend your favorite actors for these roles. What are you waiting for, jump to the comment form now!

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2 months - End of abstinence!

OK it's 2 days more than 2 months since my last post on this blog, and 3 days more than 1 month since I got back to Hyderabad.

Tweeting has been a very major reason blogging has taken backseat. In my pre-Twitter days I used to blog on every issue I felt about. Sometimes it was just a rant, other times it was something that I felt passionate about. It didn't matter how few people read it.

But post-Twitter, when each tweet goes to Facebook and very often generates comments from people the feelings and thoughts get immediate vent and not stored till the blog is written!

But still I often thought and felt guilty about neglecting my blog which was my interface for the world. The 'comeback post' had to be special. Announcing to the world about my changed marital status with a wedding pic and hence getting some jovial comments from friends, maybe fellow bloggers. But that wasn't supposed to happen and so it didn't. The 'comeback post' was never written and it won't be missed too.

These past few weeks have been eventful. Leave aside the whole marriage and honeymoon factor, I believe I got a bit scarred emotionally by people whom I called 'friends'! I had always dreaded a life where all friends would be busy in their lives (read 'already married') and won't have time for me. Well this nightmare mutated itself such that not only those who were married, but also those who are unmarried got busy in their lives and didn't have time for me. Well, this is no cribbing post so we leave this issue right here!

Everyone asks me how is the married life? The best part of being married is that now I don't have to look for company when I want to go for movie or play :)

One thing about my wedding that I wanted to share: The most defining memory of entire proceedings is of a Muslim photographer Zubair (Hussainganj, Lucknow) guiding my family members the rituals in a typical Kayastha wedding!

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Fish Treatment for Asthma in Hyderabad 2011

Finally we got the confirmation. This Year the date falls on 8th June 2011 at 10.30 pm to 9th June 2011 at 10:30 pm.

I am writing this for people who have asked me the dates in advance for getting tickets reserved.

For more details check: http://www.bathinifish.com/home.htm

I had to close comment posting on this post because of too many comments giving their full contact details and asking me questions which I was not sure how to answer! I mean, I have given the official site address and you can find ALL the details there, what more do you want me to tell you! Book your tickets in time and take a train/bus/flight to Hyderabad if you want to come. Book a hotel if you don't have a friend/relative whose place you can stay at.

However I would like to answer one question: what if I have to skip it without completing my 3 year course? Well if you have to skip it, you have to skip. You need to restart your 3 year course again. My aunty had to do that.

If you ask my honest opinion about the efficacy of this treatment, I won't answer. Placebo Effect is an important theme in the field of medicine!

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Parenting: Version 2

I don't really know what it is like delivering a baby because of two reasons:

1) I have never done it.

2) I am not a woman and will never do it.

And I believe that saying you know/understand person's condition because you empathize/sympathize with him/her is a lie until you have actually been in their shoes at some point of time!

So this is precisely the reason I am not saying that releasing the new DYPC website was equivalent to delivering a baby. Apparently you may draw some parallels: time consuming, pain inducing and most of all frustration of bearing all the pain (and frustration!) alone. But then as they say the joy of delivering a beautiful baby and getting the bouquets (and some brickbats too!) is also unparalleled.

But there is this strange feeling of being tired by the efforts. Specially the 80-20 principal that came into picture. The last 20% of work of fixing the look and feel, getting the right banner, writing proper stylesheets to take care of fonts and colors etc. actually took 80% of the time. And it won't be wrong to say that it drained me.

There is a lot to be done still. A key volunteer module is not working ever since I used Hibernate and Generics in the code, that has to be fixed. Admin module has still not been migrated completely and there are some rough edges there. The request and donation pages have to be made paginated. Somehow DYPC enhancements are never ending!

S says it's your baby and you HAVE to take care of it even if nobody else does. She is right. But parenting is never easy!

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More money-making ideas for IPL

"There is too much cricket in IPL!" The Fuhrer (Lalit Modi) said

"Citi moment of success for IPL!" shouted L Sivaram Krishnan. Fuhrer smiled at him. This chap is so devoted.

"No Siva. This is not success. If conducting cricket was our motive there is already so much international cricket. We need to generate more revenues."

"Oh you mean we need to have a DLF maximum of advertising." Shastri quipped. I can shout louder and speak more words than Siva.

Fuhrer gave a sharp glance to Shastri. Someone was right, when these people are good for nothing, they become commentators.

He looked at his trusted marketing team and they didn't disappoint him.

"Fuherer, I suggested this earlier. We should show ads after every ball rather than after 2-3 balls in the mid of over."

"Hmmm. You are right and in-commentary advertising too needs to be toned up. We are still sticking with Citi and DLF and this new Karbonn."

"We can rename a dot ball as DLF minimum." An intern said sheepishly. Everyone was taken aback by her quick thinking. Fuhrer smiled and nodded. "Excellent idea!"

Others in marketing team eyed the intern with envy, commentators eyed her with appreciation.

"Every ball can be called as a FedEx Sure delivery."

"Every good shot can be called as Cannon Powershot."

"Every four can be called as a Four Square four."

"Every stumping can be called a Samsung Sexy Stumping." To this someone said no no we can't allow a word like that on live TV. Someone or their dog is bound to get their sentiments hurt.

"Ok ok, we can call it Samsung Super Stumping."

"Every wide can be called as LG Extra Wide."

Sunil Gavaskar practiced in his mind.

"Kumble has got a nice start to his last over. His first two FedEx Sure deliveries have fetched DLF Minimums. This was a Canon Powershot from Voges and is it a DLF maximum, no its a Four Square Four. And that would be an LG Extra Wide on the leg side. A Googly and that's a Samsung Super Stumping by Boucher. Citi Moment of Success for Kumble."

"Every double can be called as Do-CoMo."

Fuhrer had to intervene now, "Fine fine. Commentary vocabulary is enough now. Think of something else."


After a moment of silence someone said "Field umpires can refer almost every decision to 3rd umpire who can take about a minute while we focus on the board and show ads apart from those of Kingfisher. Commentators can keep on saying that this looks close and 3rd umpire is taking a close look. Nobody will suspect anything!"

Fuhrer thought a bit and gave a nod. The man who gave idea sulked that Fuherer didn't praise him like he did the intern.

Someone else said "Generally every ground has 2 pitches. We can name the pitches like they name the ends. So for pitch 1 commentators can say we are playing on Airtel Pitch and pitch 2 can be called as Aircell Pitch or whatever."

The room echoed with praises for the idea-giver.

Fuhrer wasn't looking too happy and he gave vent to his final thought, "All good ideas, but there is still too much cricket in IPL!"

Sivaramkrishnan could not stop himself, "Now, that's a Karbonn Kamal Catch!"

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Tata Sky piggy backs on IPL

As soon as the IPL is about to begin, the GECs (General Entertainment Channels like Colors, Zee, Star Plus, Imagine, Sony) begin to worry about their loyal viewers (read Saas-Bahu watching junta) will be denied their staple diet of soaps due to younger lot hell bent on watching the T20 matches.

Read the full post on my new blog 'Ad and Subtract'.

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Maya Calling Maya

Unlike poor Karthick who was nearly driven to suicide after being bullied by others, UP CM was sleeping peacefully after having a routinely busy day, which included*

1) reading 365272 written press statements blaming Central Government for rising food prices, rising crime in the state, rising temperatures, rising number of damaged roads, rising number of Supreme Court litigations against her statues, rising number of hair on Virendar Sehwag's head etc.

2) sanctioning construction of 453829 new statues of Dr. Ambedkar, Kanshiram and her own and naming them Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Prateek Sthal (you get the idea!).

3) Demanding 536372 thousand crores for development activities in UP which include construction of 6373 new parks and installation of aforementioned 453829 statues. (This comes after blaming Center of ignoring UP's development)

4) sabotaging plans of Sonia Gandhi or her ministers to inaugurate some bridge/college/hospital in UP. This activity includes stopping the visitor in their tracks and doing inauguration done by her minister.

*This list is just indicative of the busy day she has.

And then her phone rang. She picked the phone after 3 rings and without even listening to the caller immediately expelled him from BSP but just as she was about to slam the phone she was pleasantly surprised to hear her own voice. (Comon, we are talking of Mayawati here. She loves herself so much that she will only be happy to hear her voice, not shocked or scared!)

Maya 2 (caller): Recognize me? I am Mayawati.

Maya 1 (callee): You think I am Amar Singh that I won't recognize Mayawati? The asshole tried to be too cozy with me after getting booted from SP. Thought I will forget what he and Mulayam did to me. He doesn't recognize me, I will..

Maya 2: (interrupting) OK,OK. I understand you recognize me. I am here to help you.

Maya 1: Help me? Do you think I am BJP who needs help? Not that any amount of help helps them anyways. I ..


Maya 2: (interrupting again) Hold on. Though in front of media you can't speak even one sentence without reading, here you just go on and on. You recently announced that there is no money to compensate the Pratapgarh stampede victims?

Maya 1: Yeah. What did these courts think? They prohibit me from building Ambedkar Park and erecting my statues and that will save money for these other things? I have proved that even if they don't let me proceed with constructions I will spend (to this Maya 2 said 'You mean waste, huh?', which Maya 1 duly ignored) the money as I wish and leave no stone unturned in leaving no money in the treasury!

Maya 2: So you are refusing to give money to the victims to just show that you have drained out money even when you were not building the parks and statues?

Maya 1: psst let me tell you a secret. The construction is still going on but I just keep it under radar. In Lucknow only construction you'll see is construction of park and statues only! But you see, PM has already given them 2 lakhs. Why do I need to waste my own money on them?

Maya 2: Ya right, 'your own money'. Thank God you didn't say 'your own hard-earned money!'. But don't you realize many of the dead are Dalits?

Maya 1: Big Deal! Rather than spending money on these poor suckers whom nobody will remember after 2 weeks just wait till I address the rally in the 25th anniversary of BSP where I will blame Center and these Manuwadis for the stampede and deaths. I am a visionary and I have decided to look at the long term benefit and you can go to Satish Chandra Mishra if you have any more questions!

Maya 2: But...

Maya 1 slammed the phone. Even if you are subconscious mind of Mayawati, you can't talk to her without her own wish!

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Use mobile to save paper: a really implementable Idea!

From over past couple of months we have been watching Idea ads giving us ideas of how to use mobile to save paper. I dare not say that any of those ideas is 'impossible' to implement but you will agree that all of them will take much more efforts than just 'walk and talk'.

But a very easy way to save paper is to abolish the necessity of carrying printouts of tickets booked online. Think for a moment, when was the last you visited a Railway reservation office (except when not trying for Tatkal at the time of some major festival!) to book your tickets. We always book the tickets online and more often than not the printout is 2 pages instead of 1. Same goes with bus tickets booked on redbus.in or ticketvala.com.

Most of the cinemas these days let you collect the tickets just if you show the credit card with which you booked the tickets hence eradicating the need of printing the email confirmation.

IRCTC can take passenger's mobile number and send an SMS confirmation when a ticket is booked. TTEs should accept this SMS confirmation or the email confirmation (accessed on your mobile) sent by IRCTC.

Considering the fact that IRCTC is country's biggest e-commerce contributor and does one third of all tickets sold by Indian Railways, you can understand the number of tickets printed in India and if we cut down the tickets printed we can save a lot of paper.

More over just think of not worrying about printing tickets when not booking tickets from office ;)

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How was 'Phir Mile Sur' made? Inside story!

Are you wondering why did Zoom decide to recreate 'Phir Mile Sur'? Here is the top secret unearthed by our under cover agents (borrowed from UTV Bindass's Emotional Atyachar).

Zoom honchos had thought of making a music video featuring Bollywood stars but then someone suggested why not piggyback on something already popular and remembered! And they decided to do 'Phir Miley Sur'.

Here is how the "creative team" acted on the brief given by producers:

1) We need to have the 3 Khans doing what they are best known for. So Salman has to be shirtless (and keep his mouth shut!), Aamir has to be with kids (audience needs to be reminded that he is the conscientious Khan!) and SRK doing his trademark open-arms thing. And obviously all need to be given equal footage.

2) We need to show the young 'achievers'. To this someone said most of them may not be recognized by public. Good Point, so we need to show their more famous dad with them. Here come Ustad Amzad Ali Khan with sons Amaan and Ayaan, KJ Yesudas with Vijay, Pt. Shivkumar Sharma with Rahul. Pt. Ravi Shankar is unwell so Anoushka will have to do alone.

3) Bollywood's first family. No it will look like a family album. OK, we will do it in more discreet manner. Let's drop Big Ma. (She's a politician anyway!) Big B can sing, so let's keep him alone. And the beta-bahu can be shot together. (Someone said ya, may be we can sneak in a bar of Lux also somewhere!)

4) Musicians. Rahman HAS to be there but since we don't have anything like storyboard so we don't know what to do with him. Shankar-Ehsan-Loy can do a "Rock On" but who will tell them their piece which sounds like a crescendo is actually not in the end! Sivamani can be trusted to do something crazy. God bless the person who suggested inclusion of Ustad Rashid Khan. Shreya Ghoshal and Shan can be clubbed with east India. Sonu Nigam can be used as playback for stars.

5) Bollywood. But we have to keep whole country in mind, no? Uhh ok, Vikram and Surya from Tamil, Mahesh Babu from Telugu, Mammooty from Malyalam. Happy? Rituparna Sen Gupta and Sonali/Atul Kulkarni will go well because they can be shown as Bengali and Marathi (respectively) as well! (The guy who suggested this got a bonus.). Now we can fill in as many Bollywood guys as we want. (This thought made them so happy, they all shared a McAloo Tikki)

6) Budget. We have already spent 99.875% of our total budget on stars so get some sportsmen to whom we don't have to pay conveyance charges and yet people recognize them. Enter Gopichand-Saina, Vijayendra, Sunil, Abhinav and Baichung. Technicians? Unh who needs them. We can edit and put it all together ourselves on a Mac. So what if lips are not in sync with lyrics or fingers not in sync with the instrument. Oh, it's still not 16 minutes? Let's put in some stock shots of armed forces.

And then as they say rest was history. (PMS got such a bad response, that it was relegated to history books in first week itself!)

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Why does 4th Estate act as 4th Idiot?

Before comparisons with 'Five Point Someone' and Chetan Bhagat's allegations hit the press, only thing being written about '3 Idiots' after the release was its box office collections. The business is being claimed to be even better that previous topmost grosser 'Ghajni'.

As is the trend in the country, our mainstream media (and obviously the film awards) measures the worth of a movie by the crores it makes, or doesn't. Come the award season (which is round the corner) this film will sweep all the awards. Come the Oscar nomination time and Delhi/Mumbai based 'national' channels will start propping this and some other money raker as India's nominees.

Coming back to movie's collections and how media has gone in a collective orgasm about how many crores the film has made in first week itself. Does anyone pause to remember that it is just an year ago that 'Ghajni' had set new records? The reason was extensive release and inflated ticket rates in multiplexes. Once again we the movie goers have been made to payup through the roof for the movie. Instead of highlighting this producer-multiplex nexus which ultimately makes general public suffer, media simply shouts from the rooftop whatever numbers the PR agency sends to it, without even trying to validate those figures.

Secondly, if a movie makes truckloads of money does it mean it is a great film? Many critics have said that Raju Hirani's previous outings in Munnabhai series are lot better than '3 Idiots'. But since this movie has made more money than other two combined, does it make it better than them? I don't think so. So just why is media so pumped up by its earnings? Report about the earnings, but don't make it the best thing ever happened to cinema just because it has made money.

Is it too much to ask for?

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DYPC Wishes you a Greener Year!

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Why is media silent about its own corruption?

I remember there were voices of dissent and disapproval from other news channels when Aaj Tak first introduced ads in its news scroll. Very soon everyone else followed. This was not the first instance when a market leader in media started what was a debatable trend.

In 2003 Times Of India group started the trend of selling editorial space for 'paid' news through its marketing division named Medianet. There was a lot of hue and cry when the news first broke out. TOI was ridiculed and criticized for bringing the profession to disrepute.

But after the dust settled, media bosses understood the business sense and nobody wanted to be left behind in this race. (Couple of examples : DNA, Deccan Herald) So recently when The Hindu pointed that Maharashtra CM Ashok Chavan got reams of press coverage whose expenses were not declared in the election expenses that he submitted to Election Commission, there was hardly a murmur from either politicians or in the media. The media houses accused in this report feigned ignorance and their rivals didn't even try to claim moral high ground because of obvious reasons. Outlook's December 21 issue had a more in-depth coverage of this malaise and shocking revelations of how serious and deeply rooted this paid news phenomenon has become, specially in the times of elections.

But what is truly shocking is the complete silence in the media about this issue. No discussions or debates on a practice what has threatened the reputation of entire profession. No attempt to censure the culprits or make any rules to stop this practice. Why? Imagine if medical profession accepted that the practice of organ theft or judges thought accepting bribes to give a favorable verdict was OK.

No words can describe the impact if news media started being stooges of corrupt politicians whose only qualification was being able to pay for favorable coverage. If our only source of getting credible information for choosing our elected representatives was proven to be corrupt, what do we rely on?

As they say, who watches the watchmen?

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I demand my own state (comprises 2 localities in Hyderabad)

I am writing this post just to inform you guys that I am going to sit on a hunger strike after lunch today and won't eat anything till my demands are not met (or atleast till dinner time).

And before you start dubbing me (rightfully) publicity hungry (or some such adjective) let me tell you that my demands are perfectly valid. I am demanding for a new state on the same basis as all other new states are being demanded.

I want a new state for the areas of Kondapur and Madhapur in Hyderabad. (See map if you are not aware of the geography.) We call it 'Makonchal' . You will appreciate that this name follows the naming convention of North Indian states like Purvanchal, Mithilanchal, Uttaranchal. (MAdhapur+ KOndapur+Anchal see how ingenious!)

Below are the reasons why my demands must be met:

1) Since there are so many North Indians in this area, culture and language of this area is different from rest of Hyderabad and even from rest of AP/Telangana/Rayalseema/North Coastal AP/South Coastal AP/other 432517 divisions of AP. And how dare you suggest that we can live in harmony with rest of people who don't share these extremely critical properties of Humanity! If Garos and Khasis living in Meghalaya can demand for separate states why can't we. (Umm I guess number of Northies in Hyderabad would roughly be same as total population of Meghalaya..)

2) These areas are mostly occupied by upper and upper middle class people, so state gets more revenue from these areas which is 'diverted' to other areas of city and not utilized in 'development' of these areas. (Ignore the fact that most of the people here don't vote during elections!) No, I won't accept that analogy that Mumbai supports rest of Maharashtra. Call us selfish but our money is JUST our money. (You see the money from these areas is going in pockets of netas of other areas. What is this? Our money should go in the pockets of netas of our own area na!)

Now you see my point? Aren't my demands perfectly valid?

Umm, did I mention that I am ready to bear the responsibility of being the CM as well!

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Pictures worth thousand words and more!

Who ever said a picture is worth a thousand words was a lazy writer who went on a nice journey and shot hundreds of pics. He/She came back and then sat down to write the memoirs but was unable to do so and hence decided to just share the pics.

So without much ado, here is the reason and result of my 10 day trip: Kolkata-New Jalpaiguri-Darjeeling-Maney Bhanjayang-Dhotrey-Tunglu-Tumling -Kali Pokhari-Sandakphu-Gurdum-Rimbik-Darjeeling-Kolkata!

Journey on the Toy Train: Train leaves from New Jalpaiguri and reaches Darjeeling in about 7 hours! But trust me you won't mind.

Darjeeling:



The Trek:



Kolkata:




Simple! Wasn't it :)

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Promote DYPC, Win Google Wave Invites!

Still waiting for that elusive (and exclusive!) invite for Google Wave. Here is your chance to win it and trust me it doesn’t get any easier! All you need to do is help DYPC in spreading the word about this concept of PC donation and the site itself.

All set? Become a fan of DYPC on Facebook, follow us on Twitter (@dypc) AND do atleast any one set of the following (the more you can do the better !):

1) On facebook: Invite others, put DYPC URL in your status, become a fan of DYPC on facebook.

DYPC Website : www.DonateYourPC.in
DYPC Facebook URL : http://tinyurl.com/dypcOnFB

2) Blogs: Put a DYPC badge on your blog or blog about DYPC (psst. here is a cheat code, you can just cross post this one)

DYPC Blog : http://donateyourpc.wordpress.com
DYPC Badges : http://donateyourpc.in/web/resources.jsp

Put in simpler words to be eligible you have to become DYPC fan on FB and then either do the activities related to Facebook or Blogs. Just don’t forget to mail us (contact(at)donateyourpc(dot)in) about what all you did!

There are 15 invites to be won, make sure you are one of the winners!

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Sign(Board) Language

All of us have seen roadside stalls selling 'Chinness' or 'Chinis' or 'Chinees' food or wine shops selling 'Child Bear'. They are not the only ones. Here is an assorted collection of others who brought a smile.

Where: Sector 62, Noida.

God knows what aafat (trouble in Hindi) befalls on the people who eat these parathas!

Where: Sector 62, Noida

He missed the word 'Chowk' but it is amply clear that he too dreams to make it big someday. Hopefully not like Akshay Kumar in that horrible movie!

Where: Aminabad, Lucknow

Now, this is taking honesty to extreme levels.

Where: Tribal Museum, Araku, Vizag

Wow, this is a crash course in euphemism writing I believe!

Where: Hogenakkal, Karnataka

A movie crazy parking owner?

Where: More store, Kondapur, Hyderabad

Just imagine if the X-Ray machine at some airport gets some snag and they put a sign like this one: "Due to technical problems, We can't scan you. Please Bare!" OMG!!!

Where: Mahabalipuram, Tamilnadu

They know that their stuff is not too good, so don't go overboard in praising ;)

Where: Juice shop, Kondapur, Hyderabad

"Pain Apple"?

This one truly brought a smile, not the sarcastic one, but one of real happiness. To see that some one in Railways was actually so compassionate and understanding that instead of using 'Physically challenged' or 'disabled' they used 'Differently Abled', which even Delhi Metro doesn't do.

Where: Kachiguda Railway Station, Kachiguda, Hyderabad.

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Coming Soon: Rahul Mahajan Ka Swayamvar

Whether or not UPA Govt. is taking austeroty measures to superlative degree remains a matter of debate but wise men and women at NDTV Imagine have certainly taken gender equality to highest possible degree for sure.

So here it goes. After Rakhi Ka Swayamvar which presented us about a dozen men who could have been nominated for Red and White Bravery Awards, only if they were not nominated for Yellow and Black Stupidity Award, NDTV Imagine decided to fire up our imagination with about a dozen dumb belles.

Afterall why should only men be allowed to make a fool of themselves. Even women should be given opportunity to be called publicity hungry jerks who want to build a 'Dil Ka Rishta' (quoting Rakhi 'the original' Sawant) with a former drug-addict. Ok, he may have kicked that habit, but what about kicking his wife?

I don't want to stick my neck out to predict how good or bad the show will fare out in its second season as compared to the first, but Rahul Mahajan is perhaps a male version of Rakhi Sawant. Not that Mahajan dances in mini-skirts as item girl and definitely not that Rakhi beat her boyfriend in presence of cameras unlike Mahajan who beat his wife in their absence.

So women of India. Here is your chance to show how hungry you are for cheap publicity. Hope you leave nothing to Imagine!

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"Wanted" a "Pokiri" review?

Telugu "Pokiri" starring Mahesh Babu was the first Telugu movie I watched in a cinema. And I wrote a review much to amusement of everyone. Yesterday I reading Rajeev Masand' review of "Wanted", I felt that just by changing actors' names in my "Pokiri" review, it can be passed as "Wanted" review! Read it here.

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Trying to Sell Nothing to Everyone!

One of the most satisfying aspects of working in Oracle, is working for Oracle Volunteers. The challange is that the 3000 people who are going to get your mail, should not direct it to trash! Oracle Volunteers doesn't spam so there is thin chance that you will get 2nd chance to say what you wanted.


This one was for Eye Donation Awareness camp, organized by Sakshum. People liked it but I feel I could not implement the idea I really had! Anyways Sakshum took printouts of this one and used it as flyers as well.
Ora Revels is undoubtedly the biggest event organized by Oracle Volunteers Hyderabad. It is designed as a platform for employees to interact with representatives and kids of many of the NGOs being supported by Oracle Volunteers. So on the day of event, there are lots of stalls for food, games etc. apart from the stalls put up by NGOs to sell stuff and show their work.


This one was for Magic Show in Ora Revels 2008. The sole reason I like this mailer is the 'Graffiti' image, which was generated by using the jMaki Flickr 'Word' widget in Netbeans IDE. A little shadow effect by Photoshop and it was ready to go!



Hmm... not a great tagline but I like the image of the cup. For souvenir sale in Ora Revels 2008.



Ahh... this one was never sent! Bhima Rao was our company's security incharge. Raghu declined to send this one and with very heavy heart I had to remove the defintely catchy heading with a boring 'Security guidelines for Today' :(


This one is one of the favorites. Sent on the morning of the Ora Revels 2007, it grabbed sufficient eyeballs.



Repeating the calendar was a gamble, but I was so hopelessly behind schedule for designing mail for announcing Ora Revels week 2008, that something had to be done. I got this calendar from my former roomy, shot it in office and guess what that 'Ora Revels week!' was written in Photoshop!




Ora Revels changed name and became Ora Fora. With a new logo and theme! I did only this one mailer for the D-day. Took the screenshot of that day's TOI and changed the headlines and masthead. Funniest response was from Naresh, who called me to tell that he can't read the text in paragraphs! (Raghu teased me over use of Blue and Red, calling it sponsored by Times Now!)



Adopt a Child Educationally is another scheme being run by Oracle Volunteers since past 1 year and has entered its 2nd year now. This mailer was somewhat inspired by Toyota's Amir Khan ads.



Repeating any campaign is difficult. I thought very hard for some idea for this year's ACE campaign. This one struck me when I driving to home from office. Once again, I felt that I could not implement it as well I would have wanted, the final version was much better that first cut, thanks to Raghu's motivation!



Though this one was for Premalayam's Vote Campaign, it was sent to Oracle Volunteers as well and was appreciated for its different take on elections!

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Maya Ka Swayamvar

(This blog does not intend to hurt the sentiments of anyone. Any reference to any person living or dead is not meant to demean them and should not be taken seriously.)

On yet another un-eventful day when she transferred 26278 IAS, IPS, IFS, ICS, PCS, TCS, MNS, XXS officers and ordered installation of 626838 more statues of hers and 2 of Kanshi Ram she decided that finally she needs a man to protect her from 24x7 conspiracies of SP, Congress, BJP, RJD, BJD, INLD, UPA, NDA, IRA and 245262 other political parties across the world.

Supremely PR concious that she is, she took a cue from Rakhi Ka Swayamvar which left little to (NDTV) Imagine about her seriousness in getting knotty.

BSP decided to celebrate this momentous day as 'Shaadi Karo Diwas' (Get Married Day). Opposition parties, visibly jealous of her matrimonial affairs, decided to celebrate it as 'Sarkaar ko Talaaq Do Diwas' (Divorce this Government Day). The association of marriage counselors applauded opposition as they anticipated an increase in their clientale. The association of wedding planners publically thanked Mayawati as they believed people will get inspired by their supreme leader and get married in expensive wedding ceremonies. But their joy was shortlived as Mayawati asked them to cut the crap and send a cheque of Rs. 400 million.

BSP MLAs and MPs were given mandate to recieve cash 'gifts' from their constituencies. The opposition claimed that Government is collecting money forcibly but Satish Chandra Mishra explained to an excited media that party members were just acting as facilitators for public which wanted to give a shagun in their beloved CM's marriage but didn't know how to do so. He also announced that all the cash gifts would be exempted from income tax but this proposal was shot down by income tax department. Responding to this Mayawati said that this is yet another instance that Congress was conspiring to kill her, insult the dalits and prohibiting development of U.P.

As for the venue of Swayamvar, Ambedkar Park was chosen unanimously and since it does not have residential facilities yet, PWD was instructed to raze the nearby hostel and construct a 5-star hotel in place of it. Responding to a PIL filed in Supreme Court to what opposition and media criticised as wasteful expenditure of public money, Government said that the revenue generated by advertising would be utilized in further expanding of Ambedkar Park and installing more statues of Mayawati which would in turn give boost to tourism. The Supreme Court was convinced by noted artist and sculptors from France who said Mayawati's statues are fast gaining popularity and would soon overtake Monalisa as most clicked work of art.

On the scheduled day however there was not even a single suitor at the venue much to chagrin of the channel, advertisers and Mayawati and much to amusement of opposition and national and international media। Mayawati claimed that this is yet another instance that Congress was conspiring to kill her, insult the dalits and prohibiting development of U.P. The Government appointed a CBI enquiry which is yet to give its report but insiders tell us that it was the fine print of the contract of the Swayamvar which said every participant who is rejected by Mayawati would be charged with non-bailable offences under SC/ST Atrocities Prevention Act and their houses would be torched.

(Read this post in Hindi: माया का स्वयंवर)

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