Lucknow Metro: Don't mind if it is needed or not!

There was a 'Bhoomi Poojan' ceremony of a new upcoming township with 'modern amenities like club house, restaurant, gym' and 'just 15 minutes from proposed Metro station'.

Well I won't blame you if you didn't know about Metro rail being proposed in Lucknow. Like every middle class Indian once aspired to own a Maruti 800, every state capital aspires to have a Metro of its own and believes it has really good reasons to have one. Lucknow is one of them. Kochi, Jaipur, Hyderabad, Kanpur are few others.

I don't know the reasons they are pushing to pass Lucknow Metro as an inevitable mean to solve Lucknow's traffic problems but whatever and however flimsy they are, I know they are not going to be challenged. Even though more than half of the city's road remain encroached, causing massive traffic snarls and traffic police appears only at few VIP junctions and no alternatives are suggested to this massively expensive option, Lucknowites are made to believe that Metro is their only savior.

Unlike Delhi or Bangalore or Hyderabad where there have been debates over viability and necessity of Metro and how the construction will affect the city's heritage and existing transportation mechanisms and commuting patterns, there is going to be no voice asking questioning anything that is going to be fed to press (that is under the thumb of the Government anyway!).

I don't blame the people. Any announcement that is 'perceived' to be related to 'development' is lapped up by people who are hungry to see any kind of development. So much that even if it means massive amount of money that is going to be swindled (and which is perhaps the only reason for some of these projects!) or cause damage to environment is accepted without any murmur. Any protest, if ever, takes place only if the development is hurting their own interests in any manner.

Secondly, Delhi is the ultimate role model for Lucknow and any thing that Delhi has, seems to be a must-have for Lucknowites! Even if Lucknow is just a fraction of Delhi in terms of population and area, they must have a Metro.

Also the fact that there is hardly any interface which promotes dialogue and partnership among people and Government over the issues that concern the city, is a major reason that no discussion or debate ever takes place.

So whenever Lucknow Metro materializes and at whatever costs, both tangible and intangible in terms of cost to heritage and environment, no one will mind it.

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Maya Calling Maya

Unlike poor Karthick who was nearly driven to suicide after being bullied by others, UP CM was sleeping peacefully after having a routinely busy day, which included*

1) reading 365272 written press statements blaming Central Government for rising food prices, rising crime in the state, rising temperatures, rising number of damaged roads, rising number of Supreme Court litigations against her statues, rising number of hair on Virendar Sehwag's head etc.

2) sanctioning construction of 453829 new statues of Dr. Ambedkar, Kanshiram and her own and naming them Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Prateek Sthal (you get the idea!).

3) Demanding 536372 thousand crores for development activities in UP which include construction of 6373 new parks and installation of aforementioned 453829 statues. (This comes after blaming Center of ignoring UP's development)

4) sabotaging plans of Sonia Gandhi or her ministers to inaugurate some bridge/college/hospital in UP. This activity includes stopping the visitor in their tracks and doing inauguration done by her minister.

*This list is just indicative of the busy day she has.

And then her phone rang. She picked the phone after 3 rings and without even listening to the caller immediately expelled him from BSP but just as she was about to slam the phone she was pleasantly surprised to hear her own voice. (Comon, we are talking of Mayawati here. She loves herself so much that she will only be happy to hear her voice, not shocked or scared!)

Maya 2 (caller): Recognize me? I am Mayawati.

Maya 1 (callee): You think I am Amar Singh that I won't recognize Mayawati? The asshole tried to be too cozy with me after getting booted from SP. Thought I will forget what he and Mulayam did to me. He doesn't recognize me, I will..

Maya 2: (interrupting) OK,OK. I understand you recognize me. I am here to help you.

Maya 1: Help me? Do you think I am BJP who needs help? Not that any amount of help helps them anyways. I ..


Maya 2: (interrupting again) Hold on. Though in front of media you can't speak even one sentence without reading, here you just go on and on. You recently announced that there is no money to compensate the Pratapgarh stampede victims?

Maya 1: Yeah. What did these courts think? They prohibit me from building Ambedkar Park and erecting my statues and that will save money for these other things? I have proved that even if they don't let me proceed with constructions I will spend (to this Maya 2 said 'You mean waste, huh?', which Maya 1 duly ignored) the money as I wish and leave no stone unturned in leaving no money in the treasury!

Maya 2: So you are refusing to give money to the victims to just show that you have drained out money even when you were not building the parks and statues?

Maya 1: psst let me tell you a secret. The construction is still going on but I just keep it under radar. In Lucknow only construction you'll see is construction of park and statues only! But you see, PM has already given them 2 lakhs. Why do I need to waste my own money on them?

Maya 2: Ya right, 'your own money'. Thank God you didn't say 'your own hard-earned money!'. But don't you realize many of the dead are Dalits?

Maya 1: Big Deal! Rather than spending money on these poor suckers whom nobody will remember after 2 weeks just wait till I address the rally in the 25th anniversary of BSP where I will blame Center and these Manuwadis for the stampede and deaths. I am a visionary and I have decided to look at the long term benefit and you can go to Satish Chandra Mishra if you have any more questions!

Maya 2: But...

Maya 1 slammed the phone. Even if you are subconscious mind of Mayawati, you can't talk to her without her own wish!

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Maya Ka Swayamvar

(This blog does not intend to hurt the sentiments of anyone. Any reference to any person living or dead is not meant to demean them and should not be taken seriously.)

On yet another un-eventful day when she transferred 26278 IAS, IPS, IFS, ICS, PCS, TCS, MNS, XXS officers and ordered installation of 626838 more statues of hers and 2 of Kanshi Ram she decided that finally she needs a man to protect her from 24x7 conspiracies of SP, Congress, BJP, RJD, BJD, INLD, UPA, NDA, IRA and 245262 other political parties across the world.

Supremely PR concious that she is, she took a cue from Rakhi Ka Swayamvar which left little to (NDTV) Imagine about her seriousness in getting knotty.

BSP decided to celebrate this momentous day as 'Shaadi Karo Diwas' (Get Married Day). Opposition parties, visibly jealous of her matrimonial affairs, decided to celebrate it as 'Sarkaar ko Talaaq Do Diwas' (Divorce this Government Day). The association of marriage counselors applauded opposition as they anticipated an increase in their clientale. The association of wedding planners publically thanked Mayawati as they believed people will get inspired by their supreme leader and get married in expensive wedding ceremonies. But their joy was shortlived as Mayawati asked them to cut the crap and send a cheque of Rs. 400 million.

BSP MLAs and MPs were given mandate to recieve cash 'gifts' from their constituencies. The opposition claimed that Government is collecting money forcibly but Satish Chandra Mishra explained to an excited media that party members were just acting as facilitators for public which wanted to give a shagun in their beloved CM's marriage but didn't know how to do so. He also announced that all the cash gifts would be exempted from income tax but this proposal was shot down by income tax department. Responding to this Mayawati said that this is yet another instance that Congress was conspiring to kill her, insult the dalits and prohibiting development of U.P.

As for the venue of Swayamvar, Ambedkar Park was chosen unanimously and since it does not have residential facilities yet, PWD was instructed to raze the nearby hostel and construct a 5-star hotel in place of it. Responding to a PIL filed in Supreme Court to what opposition and media criticised as wasteful expenditure of public money, Government said that the revenue generated by advertising would be utilized in further expanding of Ambedkar Park and installing more statues of Mayawati which would in turn give boost to tourism. The Supreme Court was convinced by noted artist and sculptors from France who said Mayawati's statues are fast gaining popularity and would soon overtake Monalisa as most clicked work of art.

On the scheduled day however there was not even a single suitor at the venue much to chagrin of the channel, advertisers and Mayawati and much to amusement of opposition and national and international media। Mayawati claimed that this is yet another instance that Congress was conspiring to kill her, insult the dalits and prohibiting development of U.P. The Government appointed a CBI enquiry which is yet to give its report but insiders tell us that it was the fine print of the contract of the Swayamvar which said every participant who is rejected by Mayawati would be charged with non-bailable offences under SC/ST Atrocities Prevention Act and their houses would be torched.

(Read this post in Hindi: माया का स्वयंवर)

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Slogan of the Year 2007: The year that was Part 1

Hathi nahin Ganesh hai; Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh hai (It's not an elephant, it's Lord Ganesha. It is Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh.): Mayawati won simple majority in the politically most important state of India (simply because it sends maximum MPs in Lok Sabha) and formed a single party Government in the state after 17 years!

This slogan puts in 1 line her entire strategy of getting the extremes of Indian society: Dalits and Brahmins under one umbrella.

Consider the about turn that BSP has taken since its inception, its former slogan was: Tilak, Tarazu aur Talwaar, inko maaro joote chaar (Brahmins, Vaishyas and Rajputs should be slammed!).

She won and has her eyes set firmly on Delhi now.

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Tale of Retail

Finally Reliance has decided to close its Reliance Fresh stores in UP and Orissa and move out. I don't know about Orissa but in UP this step was taken after protests and vandalism at Reliance Fresh stores in some cities. Mayawati Government ordered closure of some stores citing 'law and order problems' and gave the local administration in all the cities to order closure wherever they felt any such incidents might occur.

Considering that Lucknow had highest first-day sale as compared to other Reliance Fresh stores across country, this move undoubtedly costs Reliance heavily. What I am not able to understand is why only UP ordered this mass closure, leading to exit of the company?

I understand the concerns of smaller retailers, but I believe that these concerns are not limited only to UP businessmen. Losing customers to big retailer is a problem for shopkeepers across country and there have been protests everywhere, but no other government saw such a massive 'law and order' problem and ordered closure of stores. Whereever required stores and employees were given proper police protection, till the protests cooled off.

Will Government behave in same manner when Reliance or Bharti-Walmart come calling with their retail chains? You bet it will and the lame approach it has taken will only encourage the self-appointed protectors (read local politicians and their goons) of shopkeepers' interests to behave in a more violent manner and polotical armtwisting. But may be this won't happen, simply because these companies won't bother to come to UP at all! There are 25 other states to go!

OK, I am not so much bothered about big retailers, but yes I am miffed with treatment extended to R-Fresh. Everyone understands that declining trend in Agricultural sector can be reversed only if this sector becomes organized and entry of retailers is the only way this was going to happen. Reliance has invested heavily in setting up cold-chains across country and equally on transportation and sale of perishable goods, like vegetables and fruits. This will lead to lesser wastage of food products, a task Food Corporation of India has never been able to do and which is not possible without private funding. The farmers get much better price of their produce and we the consumers get the stuff at lower prices. The local sabji-waala suffers but only for a short-term when spill-over customers start flocking him again. And if he is thela-waala then it gets even better. (Also in Hyderabad, I have seen some small sabzi-walas buying from R-Fresh stores!)

I have witnessed this in Hyderabad, where Reliance Fresh stores debuted. And do you know who is the most stiff competitor of Fresh stores here? 'Fresh @' stores from Heritage, an A.P. Government enterprise, till now in milk and milk-production cooperative business. And I don't know of any protests from anyone here.

Frankly, I see this feet-dragging approach by U.P. Government a politically motivated step and I am afraid that Government will do so, whenever any corporate comes to establish any business in U.P. I remember a Shell project being dumped near Allahabad. Anil Ambani's Dadri project has run in rough weather. With such an unfriendly attitude towards private industry, I definitely believe UP is missing the bus to modern trends which are becoming norms all over the country now. Hum to aise hi hain 'Bhaiya'.

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