Ayodhya Verdict Exclusive: Mayawati Statue and Park at disputed site

In what is supposed to dislodge CWG from being the biggest talking point in the country, UP Govt. has brought decades old Ayodhya dispute to an end nobody had ever thought of. UP Govt. has decided to seize the disputed land and use it to build a huge park with statue of Chief Minister Ms. Mayawati.

Giving more details about the proposed Rs. 600 crore project, Chief Secretary Atul Gupta said that this project will quieten the critics who have accused the Govt of concentrating only on 'development' of Lucknow and neglecting other districts. In answer to a question that if this is going to be state policy for dealing with disputed properties from now onwards, he did not rule out the possibility of this, however he said Govt will wait for feedback of this move before finalizing it. (If this goes true we can have another mega Mayawati park in Varanasi where Gyanwapi mosque is disputed.)

As a sidenote Mr. Gupta informed that for building the park, Saryu river would be diverted and about 150 acres of residential area would have to be cleared. The people displaced will then be given jobs in UP's Monument Protection Force. When asked about hurting religious sentiments of Hindus and Muslims he said in UP everyone is supposed to worship the CM and her religious appeal goes beyond individual religions. (To this one journalist quipped that very soon BSP election rallies would resemble Kumbh mela or Eid prayers!)

Opposition parties were as usual divided on this issue. While BSP predictably was jubiliant, SP and BJP were sulking at the prospect of yet another poll debacle. Some leaders were overheard cursing their central leadership for not coming up with this master stroke when their party was in power in the state. This has lead to more infighting in BJP, now about whose statue would have been installed if BJP tried to do this.

Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwari said statue of a living person is against Indian ethos. To which BSP leader Satish Chandra Mishra laughed and said "look who is talking", apparently taking a dig at party's Italian leadership. However Mr Tiwari was also heard telling his good friend and Congress MP Mr Sulesh Kalmadi that his party will try Commonwealth Games Organizing Committee to bid for the construction of the park.

Read more →

Maya Calling Maya

Unlike poor Karthick who was nearly driven to suicide after being bullied by others, UP CM was sleeping peacefully after having a routinely busy day, which included*

1) reading 365272 written press statements blaming Central Government for rising food prices, rising crime in the state, rising temperatures, rising number of damaged roads, rising number of Supreme Court litigations against her statues, rising number of hair on Virendar Sehwag's head etc.

2) sanctioning construction of 453829 new statues of Dr. Ambedkar, Kanshiram and her own and naming them Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Prateek Sthal (you get the idea!).

3) Demanding 536372 thousand crores for development activities in UP which include construction of 6373 new parks and installation of aforementioned 453829 statues. (This comes after blaming Center of ignoring UP's development)

4) sabotaging plans of Sonia Gandhi or her ministers to inaugurate some bridge/college/hospital in UP. This activity includes stopping the visitor in their tracks and doing inauguration done by her minister.

*This list is just indicative of the busy day she has.

And then her phone rang. She picked the phone after 3 rings and without even listening to the caller immediately expelled him from BSP but just as she was about to slam the phone she was pleasantly surprised to hear her own voice. (Comon, we are talking of Mayawati here. She loves herself so much that she will only be happy to hear her voice, not shocked or scared!)

Maya 2 (caller): Recognize me? I am Mayawati.

Maya 1 (callee): You think I am Amar Singh that I won't recognize Mayawati? The asshole tried to be too cozy with me after getting booted from SP. Thought I will forget what he and Mulayam did to me. He doesn't recognize me, I will..

Maya 2: (interrupting) OK,OK. I understand you recognize me. I am here to help you.

Maya 1: Help me? Do you think I am BJP who needs help? Not that any amount of help helps them anyways. I ..


Maya 2: (interrupting again) Hold on. Though in front of media you can't speak even one sentence without reading, here you just go on and on. You recently announced that there is no money to compensate the Pratapgarh stampede victims?

Maya 1: Yeah. What did these courts think? They prohibit me from building Ambedkar Park and erecting my statues and that will save money for these other things? I have proved that even if they don't let me proceed with constructions I will spend (to this Maya 2 said 'You mean waste, huh?', which Maya 1 duly ignored) the money as I wish and leave no stone unturned in leaving no money in the treasury!

Maya 2: So you are refusing to give money to the victims to just show that you have drained out money even when you were not building the parks and statues?

Maya 1: psst let me tell you a secret. The construction is still going on but I just keep it under radar. In Lucknow only construction you'll see is construction of park and statues only! But you see, PM has already given them 2 lakhs. Why do I need to waste my own money on them?

Maya 2: Ya right, 'your own money'. Thank God you didn't say 'your own hard-earned money!'. But don't you realize many of the dead are Dalits?

Maya 1: Big Deal! Rather than spending money on these poor suckers whom nobody will remember after 2 weeks just wait till I address the rally in the 25th anniversary of BSP where I will blame Center and these Manuwadis for the stampede and deaths. I am a visionary and I have decided to look at the long term benefit and you can go to Satish Chandra Mishra if you have any more questions!

Maya 2: But...

Maya 1 slammed the phone. Even if you are subconscious mind of Mayawati, you can't talk to her without her own wish!

Read more →

Maya Ka Swayamvar

(This blog does not intend to hurt the sentiments of anyone. Any reference to any person living or dead is not meant to demean them and should not be taken seriously.)

On yet another un-eventful day when she transferred 26278 IAS, IPS, IFS, ICS, PCS, TCS, MNS, XXS officers and ordered installation of 626838 more statues of hers and 2 of Kanshi Ram she decided that finally she needs a man to protect her from 24x7 conspiracies of SP, Congress, BJP, RJD, BJD, INLD, UPA, NDA, IRA and 245262 other political parties across the world.

Supremely PR concious that she is, she took a cue from Rakhi Ka Swayamvar which left little to (NDTV) Imagine about her seriousness in getting knotty.

BSP decided to celebrate this momentous day as 'Shaadi Karo Diwas' (Get Married Day). Opposition parties, visibly jealous of her matrimonial affairs, decided to celebrate it as 'Sarkaar ko Talaaq Do Diwas' (Divorce this Government Day). The association of marriage counselors applauded opposition as they anticipated an increase in their clientale. The association of wedding planners publically thanked Mayawati as they believed people will get inspired by their supreme leader and get married in expensive wedding ceremonies. But their joy was shortlived as Mayawati asked them to cut the crap and send a cheque of Rs. 400 million.

BSP MLAs and MPs were given mandate to recieve cash 'gifts' from their constituencies. The opposition claimed that Government is collecting money forcibly but Satish Chandra Mishra explained to an excited media that party members were just acting as facilitators for public which wanted to give a shagun in their beloved CM's marriage but didn't know how to do so. He also announced that all the cash gifts would be exempted from income tax but this proposal was shot down by income tax department. Responding to this Mayawati said that this is yet another instance that Congress was conspiring to kill her, insult the dalits and prohibiting development of U.P.

As for the venue of Swayamvar, Ambedkar Park was chosen unanimously and since it does not have residential facilities yet, PWD was instructed to raze the nearby hostel and construct a 5-star hotel in place of it. Responding to a PIL filed in Supreme Court to what opposition and media criticised as wasteful expenditure of public money, Government said that the revenue generated by advertising would be utilized in further expanding of Ambedkar Park and installing more statues of Mayawati which would in turn give boost to tourism. The Supreme Court was convinced by noted artist and sculptors from France who said Mayawati's statues are fast gaining popularity and would soon overtake Monalisa as most clicked work of art.

On the scheduled day however there was not even a single suitor at the venue much to chagrin of the channel, advertisers and Mayawati and much to amusement of opposition and national and international media। Mayawati claimed that this is yet another instance that Congress was conspiring to kill her, insult the dalits and prohibiting development of U.P. The Government appointed a CBI enquiry which is yet to give its report but insiders tell us that it was the fine print of the contract of the Swayamvar which said every participant who is rejected by Mayawati would be charged with non-bailable offences under SC/ST Atrocities Prevention Act and their houses would be torched.

(Read this post in Hindi: माया का स्वयंवर)

Read more →