Tourist-ification of our food!

“I asked a question, at least you could reply with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’!”

Shweta’s comment made me realize that my affirmative chuckle had failed to convey its meaning so I quickly said “Oh right. I meant I didn’t!”

The aforementioned question was, “You said you would write a blog about ‘Punjabification’ of Indian food. You didn’t write that, did you?”

And she was not wrong. I have been very vocal against lack of local dishes in the menus of restaurants in our tourist destinations. Every menu starts with a ‘Tomato Soup’, continues to the legendary ‘Paneer Tikka’ or the nouveau ‘Crispy Babycorn’, marches into the kingdom of ‘Paneer Butter Masala’ or ‘Butter chicken’, aided and abetted by ‘Tandoori Roti’ or ‘Paneer Kulcha’ along with ‘Dum Biryani’ and summed up by ‘Vanilla Ice Cream’.

I am mainly a vegetarian so more emphasis on veg dishes but you get the effing idea!

I agree that using the term ‘Punjabification’ is probably incorrect since the staple restaurant-y North Indian cuisine includes dishes which may or may not have originated from Punjab but somehow all that Paneer and all that chicken give this food an aura of ‘Punjabiness’!

So I didn’t find Jhunka Bhakar in Mahabaleshwar but I could select from 5 types of Parathas because ‘tourists’ get what ‘tourists’ want.

And I had met a similar fate in Port Blair which led to the question. However in Havelock Island, tide turned for a little while because Full Moon Cafe had a delightful collection of dishes in their menu. Although they kept the Great-Indian-restaurant-tradition alive by keeping some of these dishes, they had lots of other lesser-seen dishes as well like ‘Bamboo fish’ (fish steamed in bamboo leaves) and Bengali ‘Fish Paturi’. I sincerely regret not reading their menu more carefully! The place is scenic and quiet, the food is superb, the staff is helpful and I specially love their policy of not selling bottled water to reduce plastic waste on the island.

Venom Bar has got a 5 star rating on TripAdvisor and it’s not for nothing. The place has a lovely vibe and stands as a symbol of nightlife on the island. The Paneer Tikkas (yeah same old, same old) were surprisingly good and their lobster (pronounced ‘law buster’ by our server) looked absolutely ravishing!

(Its price was ravishing as well and since they don’t accept cards we had to take along one of their guys to the sole working ATM on the island, withdraw money and pay him for the meal!)

But what would get a 5 and a half star rating from me is a small restaurant close to Baratang Jetty. The restaurant doesn’t even have a shop board, but has two sections ‘Veg’ and ‘Non Veg’ complete with green and red dots respectively. We went to the ‘Non Veg’ section but they served us vegetarian dishes as well and the chickpea-pumpkin-carrot curry in a thick gravy just blew my mind. There was a beans dish and a cabbage one as well, but I could eat hardly anything else. Though Keerthi was busy tinkering with the crab (considering the heaps of bones he extracted I wonder how much he ate!) both Sirisha and Shweta continued to dig in for this curry and we took a second serving as well. Rice was long and thin, fish was beautifully grilled and any regret that we missed the 12.30 ferry to Middle Strait dissipated in thin air!

Back in Port Blair, it was back to same drabness.

May be the problem is with us, the Indian tourists, who love our lunch (or dinner) money so much that we are afraid to try out a new thing and stick to our Chicken Tandooris or Masala Dosas wherever we go. I really wish there are more restaurants like that tiny place on Baratang who will put the local taste back on the menu!

Read more →

If you are a Ram Gopal Varma fan, don't watch ‘Guns and Thighs’ trailer!

If you have watched that nearly 7 minutes long ‘trailer’ of his upcoming web series and the visuals of naked women and some of the dialogues focussed on female anatomy failed to titillate you enough to ignore sheer pedestrianism of his latest venture, you can only weep.

Coincidentally these visuals and probably dialogues have spurned many YouTube commenters to label this as “India’s Game Of Thrones”! And since many of our fellow country-people (see I am not saying ‘countrymen’, because gender-neutrality) believe that nudity and violence will make any thing GoT, is probably one of the reasons we will never ever have a series as captivating and as painstakingly crafted.

And the violence in the trailer is doesn’t even impact you like the violence in some of Varma’s movies. For that matter NOTHING in this trailer even seems to try to touch the bar his previous films have set. Or to be more precise, his films of last decade.

Yes, it was 2007 when his claim to infamy ‘Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag’ came. Before this he had hits and flops but even his failures were not due to lack of effort or mediocrity of his craft. The films that made us believe in him: starting with ‘Shiva’ and ‘Raat’, setting the pace with ‘Gaayam’ and ‘Rangeela’ and finally peaking with ‘Satya’ and ‘Company’. Even if you are not a cinema connoisseur or film buff, even if you have seen these movies just once there is a definite chance that you remember a character, a scene, a dialogue or one of the songs.

Now ask yourself how many of the 25 feature films he has made since 2007 you remember? Not all of these 25 films are worth forgetting. None of these 25 films can hold a candle to his better work.

If this trailer is anything to go by, this series is going to be worse than his worst film.

Where do I begin? The trailer which is laden with so many quotes that I both lost the count and the interest in reading these (seemingly made-up) quotes, starts with voice over of what seems like an old woman confiding to the viewers, the history of gangster-ridden years of Mumbai.

The narration tries too hard to make you sympathetic to the plight of the woman whose face we are shown once in a fleeting visual. However the narration (or is this internal monologue?) is so lame I could hardly care. And once the narration ends and story takes over, all hell breaks loose. One character speaks the same sentence which you have earlier heard during narration. I kid you not. And both the times this seemingly ‘hard-hitting’ statement falls flat on its face. The acting is uniformly terrible. A girl is made to sit in nude and talk to his boyfriend (who is fully clothed btw!) There are some close shots of women’s legs (‘Not A Love Story’ anyone?) and some amazingly terrible dialogues involving human anatomy because that is how the dialogue writers thought the gangsters speak.

This is Ram Gopal Varma we are talking about. The man who made Antara Mali, J D Chakravarti and Vivek Oberoi perform brilliantly on screen. The man who has given us quality acts from the likes of Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Ajay Devgan, Manoj Vajpayee, Urmila Matondkar and several others. Now picture him dishing this drivel.

At the very beginning of the trailer Varma says that since for various reasons he could not show ‘the full story of Mumbai Mafia in its raw and real form’ in films, he is going to do it here. It is amply clear that the man is scraping the bottom of the barrels of his once-legendary craftsmanship. ‘Satya’ and ‘Company’ are classics and he is besmirching that legacy with cheap, lazy and titillating cinema.

As I said, if you admired his work then, now you can just weep.

(If you are tempted to watch the trailer to see naked woman, heed my advice and watch some porn instead. If you want to watch the trailer just to see how bad it is, please don’t watch it and save 7 minutes of your life. You will thank me!)

Read more →