Saturday, September 13, 2008

Breaking News: Indian Home Minister is a Eunuch

Move over Shabnam Mausi and Suraiya Nayak the eunuchs who were content just being mayor or MLA. Indian home minister Shivraj Patil has done eunuchs proud by reaching to topmost echelons of Indian politics.

But eunuchs have all reasons to be upset with him since he has not revealed the fact publically till date. It is very difficult to find about sexuality of people in India and that too of a senior minister, it were his actions which gave away the secret.

However many experts on this matter do not agree to this report as they say whatever may be the personality traits of eunuchs they are assertive and not undecisive as the minister. They are deeply pained by their community members and take any act of violence against them very seriously, whereas Mr. Patil doesn't do anything except lipservice by condemning the blasts that take place regularly. If he was even a little bit concerned about lives of his countrymen there would not be serial blasts all over the country.

Few other experts say that Mr. Patil could be physically and mentally handicapped person since there is no hint of any action in whatever he does. (These experts went on to add that the fact that a mentally disabled person has reached such a top post shows that India is a disabled-friendly country.)

Whatever be the sexuality of Shivraj Patil he has won many 'nationalist' friends who call themselves fondly as 'Indian Mujahideen'. Their messages expressing love and respect for Mr. Patil can't be published here due to space constraint.

And not everyone is concerned with his sexuality as reporters in Jaipur, Ahmedabad, Bangalore and Delhi tell us that when they asked people about their opinion on this, they got same reply: "Shivraj Patil, fuck off!"

Eunuch Speak

This is what Shivraj Patil spoke about Delhi blasts:
1) "Whether it is Rajasthan or Gujarat, we always have intelligence information about such attacks, but we never know where and at what time the attacks may take place. We always try to stop such things."
What he meant: India is a big country and anyone can attack anywhere. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!

"Let us not play politics over this issue. I am not aware of what Advani has said. He is a responsible person. We are all responsible people and should behave responsibly."
What he meant: OK, he was a better home minister. So what I will speak some gobbledygook!

3) "We should not jump to conclusions. Stringent punishment would be given to whoever is responsible for this."
What he meant: We should not jump to silly conclusions like anybody will ever be caught!

(This post was written on the night of Delhi blasts. My deepest condolences with bereaved families.)


Anonymous said...

Wow! Some transformation from run-of-the-mill movie reviews to sarcasm at its best.

Your last post was great too, I quoted almost half your post when people tried to show the brighter side of Saint Google.
Keep going :)

Praveen राठी said...

That was a good sarcasm!

The picture is perfect.

And the reply that reporters got from people around on Patil is apt too.

Good one!

Vaibhav said...

what to say, i don't know. these ppl are ready to screw up the whole country.

Kanupriya Sindhu Ramrakhyani said...

Couldn't agree with you more! Very very true! These people only tell public that intelligence has traced the origin of the email, but what action has been finally taken? I remember one of the politicians saying on some news channel about delhi blast, "kaha kaha checking kiya jaye and ab koi auto mein bomb rakh raha hai toh isko kaise control kiya jaye"!!! Ah, its so easy to say this but the question is how come so many people are wandering around in every city with live bomb in thier hands!

Kanupriya Sindhu Ramrakhyani said...

BTW read few other posts of your blog, very guess I will be a regular visitor of your blog :-)

Abhishek said...

Someone asked me what is the fault of Shivraj Patil. He can't be blamed for everything.

I say sure, he is not going to do the investigation or gather intelligence inputs but a Home Minister should at least instill a sense of faith among the people. People should feel that someone is bothered about all the violence and something is being done.

With a minister who is more concerned about his sartorial sense this doesn't seem to be so!

Jack (Summer-diary), Rathee, Kanupriya thanks for encouraging words. Vaibhav I can understand the frustration!