Monday, March 08, 2010

Maya Calling Maya

Unlike poor Karthick who was nearly driven to suicide after being bullied by others, UP CM was sleeping peacefully after having a routinely busy day, which included*

1) reading 365272 written press statements blaming Central Government for rising food prices, rising crime in the state, rising temperatures, rising number of damaged roads, rising number of Supreme Court litigations against her statues, rising number of hair on Virendar Sehwag's head etc.

2) sanctioning construction of 453829 new statues of Dr. Ambedkar, Kanshiram and her own and naming them Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Sthal, Parivartan Pragati Prateek Sthal (you get the idea!).

3) Demanding 536372 thousand crores for development activities in UP which include construction of 6373 new parks and installation of aforementioned 453829 statues. (This comes after blaming Center of ignoring UP's development)

4) sabotaging plans of Sonia Gandhi or her ministers to inaugurate some bridge/college/hospital in UP. This activity includes stopping the visitor in their tracks and doing inauguration done by her minister.

*This list is just indicative of the busy day she has.

And then her phone rang. She picked the phone after 3 rings and without even listening to the caller immediately expelled him from BSP but just as she was about to slam the phone she was pleasantly surprised to hear her own voice. (Comon, we are talking of Mayawati here. She loves herself so much that she will only be happy to hear her voice, not shocked or scared!)

Maya 2 (caller): Recognize me? I am Mayawati.

Maya 1 (callee): You think I am Amar Singh that I won't recognize Mayawati? The asshole tried to be too cozy with me after getting booted from SP. Thought I will forget what he and Mulayam did to me. He doesn't recognize me, I will..

Maya 2: (interrupting) OK,OK. I understand you recognize me. I am here to help you.

Maya 1: Help me? Do you think I am BJP who needs help? Not that any amount of help helps them anyways. I ..

Maya 2: (interrupting again) Hold on. Though in front of media you can't speak even one sentence without reading, here you just go on and on. You recently announced that there is no money to compensate the Pratapgarh stampede victims?

Maya 1: Yeah. What did these courts think? They prohibit me from building Ambedkar Park and erecting my statues and that will save money for these other things? I have proved that even if they don't let me proceed with constructions I will spend (to this Maya 2 said 'You mean waste, huh?', which Maya 1 duly ignored) the money as I wish and leave no stone unturned in leaving no money in the treasury!

Maya 2: So you are refusing to give money to the victims to just show that you have drained out money even when you were not building the parks and statues?

Maya 1: psst let me tell you a secret. The construction is still going on but I just keep it under radar. In Lucknow only construction you'll see is construction of park and statues only! But you see, PM has already given them 2 lakhs. Why do I need to waste my own money on them?

Maya 2: Ya right, 'your own money'. Thank God you didn't say 'your own hard-earned money!'. But don't you realize many of the dead are Dalits?

Maya 1: Big Deal! Rather than spending money on these poor suckers whom nobody will remember after 2 weeks just wait till I address the rally in the 25th anniversary of BSP where I will blame Center and these Manuwadis for the stampede and deaths. I am a visionary and I have decided to look at the long term benefit and you can go to Satish Chandra Mishra if you have any more questions!

Maya 2: But...

Maya 1 slammed the phone. Even if you are subconscious mind of Mayawati, you can't talk to her without her own wish!


Rajlakshmi said...

lolzzz that was hillarious take :D
loved the write up :)

Smita said...

What satire!!! Honestly this lady has crossed all possible limits!!!

Loved the humour :)

Vaibhav said...

Quite funny and she can be fun only now !

Bakul said...

Love this writeup sir... Tooo Good ..Very hilarious....

saleem said...

very witty.
where do you get tiem to write all this? very well done. i cant dream of doing any such thing.
keep it up.

Abhishek said...

@Rajalakshmi, @Bakul

Thanks very much.

@Vaibhav, Smita

She is the other name of megalomania (love with yourself!)


I have become too erratic in writing yaar. These things come rarely now :(